T-girl In The Morning

Horror of horrors! London T-girl Lucia ferri falls asleep with her make up on after a night of clubbing. Later that morning, the silly girl wakes to find her eyelashes are glued together with mascara... eeeeek!!!

Lucia's Diet - Part Three

T-girl Lucia Ferri returns from holiday to find she's swelled up like a great big blimp! But she's a girl in denial... Help!! There must be a way to wake her up from this scary illusion??

Lucia's Diet - Part One

Diets!! They're the bane of an ordinary girl's life! But what about T-girls?? Do they ever find themselves seduced by the evils of a cream cake? And what is a gurl to do when the T-girl blobbies start to appear?!

7 Mails

Just how do ya chat up a T-girl??? Lucia Ferri reads out some recent emails she's been sent by hungry fellas... and can't help but wonder what their wives and girlfriends would think... eeeeeeeeeeeek!!!

Of T-girls and Minicabs

Saturday night. 4.30 am. Stranded far from home in her heels with the rain pouring down. How is a Tgirl to get safely across London to home. Easy!! Jump in a cab. But is it as easy as all that? Lucia relates the perils of travelling alone at night without a boyfriend on hand to brush awy the flies... eeeeeeeeeek!

Lucia dancing to Girls Aloud

Watching me lark around dancing to Ciara and Pussycat Dolls while cooking supper, my Tgirl pal Sue suggested it would be a laff to make a video. We roped in a couple of clever man-thing admirers to help. I know many Tgirls are highly capable when it comes to technical matters but one thing I must confess is my complete inabilty to operate any of this modern hardware. I'm generally baffled by mobile phones (despite exhaustive lessons I still can't figure out what do all those menus do???) and hopeless with computers. And as for remote controls - agggggggh - they actually fill me with terror. Last Friday evening I went round to visit an old friend. She was taking a long slow bath and told me to watch tv. All I can tell you is that it was one of those flat screen thingies and I pressed every button on the remote at least thirty seven times and in every conceivable sequence. I gave up after twenty minutes. When my friend appeared she explained. 'Oh Silly.. just hold down the red button for a few seconds'.

Oh yeah!!?? I mean - how is one supposed to know things like that??!!

Well, I had fun filming and doing my usual bad dancing. I wore a crazy zebra-striped bikini my friend Anya gave me from a BHS sale!!! eeeeeek! But all I can say is go and have a rummage yourself - they do sell some rather irresistible cheap and sexy undies. Zebra stripes... very 'Me Jane, you Tarzan', eh?

of tarts and custards

There's a well known and highly accurate complaint by women that man-things expect them to be accomplished wives, mothers, workers and lovers. All the while being utterly impossible and useless themselves.

One of the most obnoxious side effects of male hormones is that they programme men to believe themselves centre of the universe. They honestly think they are RIGHT the whole time. Even if you shower them in unassailable logic and prove your argument beyond doubt, many a man-thing will still reject the evidence and really believe they know best. My own paradox is that while I find this trait completely infuriating I also find that it's one of the things I adore about men - that rigid self-assured confidence that they and only they know best.

When I get together with my GG friends and talk about fellas, one of the many things we have in common is that we let the guys get away with murder. Generally, I find GGs are sooooo much better than us Tgirls at definitively pinning a man down to a solid relationship from wherein they can set about reforming them. Lucky for me, I'm not the reforming type. If you ask me, it's waaaaaaaay too much work for too little reward. Better to take men as they come and adapt yourself around them.