tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-49392694100567319332024-02-19T02:46:34.720-08:00Lucia at boiling pointluciaferrihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10997539392128232720noreply@blogger.comBlogger43125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4939269410056731933.post-6098266298618527522011-08-11T02:25:00.000-07:002011-08-11T02:25:55.961-07:00shoes 'n' nails<iframe width="480" height="295" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/pX6ddRVmhD4?fs=1" frameborder="0" allowFullScreen=""></iframe>luciaferrihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10997539392128232720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4939269410056731933.post-7291785617511219072010-01-27T01:24:00.001-08:002010-01-27T01:24:22.630-08:00t-girl essentials<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><p><object height='350' width='425'><param value='http://youtube.com/v/7kcroWz06D8' name='movie'/><embed height='350' width='425' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' src='http://youtube.com/v/7kcroWz06D8'/></object></p><p>T-girl Lucia Ferri can happily livein a world with no crisps, carbs and fatty snacks and really doesn't mind if she never sees a packet of biscuits again. Lucia thinks temptation is the just soooooo annoying! All the same, there are a few trifling things she cannot live without - Lucia's essentials. Please please all you silly politicians and angry warlords - if you are planning to blowup the planet on 3.14 a.m. on a Tuesday, do let Lucia know in advance so she can rush around stocking up on all the bits and pieces that she can't do without..... eeeeeeeeeek!</p></div>luciaferrihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10997539392128232720noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4939269410056731933.post-85892119618184330722009-12-18T05:11:00.001-08:002009-12-18T05:11:38.587-08:00men don't listen.mp4<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><p><object height='350' width='425'><param value='http://youtube.com/v/InUMnAFEaY0' name='movie'/><embed height='350' width='425' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' src='http://youtube.com/v/InUMnAFEaY0'/></object></p><p>Tgirl Lucia Ferri has noticed that men don't always listen to what a girl is saying. This is ok and we don't actually mind that much but, fellas, beware! One of these days a big 73 ton piano will fall out of the sky and we'll be screaming at you to get out of the way and you'll be thinking, 'What is the silly cow going on about now?' and we'll have to turn our eyes and look away as you're crushed flatter than a pancake and totally break our hearts in the process... eeeeeeeeek!</p></div>luciaferrihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10997539392128232720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4939269410056731933.post-228819371122595132009-03-20T07:23:00.001-07:002009-03-20T07:23:19.288-07:00cat calls<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><p><object height='350' width='425'><param value='http://youtube.com/v/QBifdx64Plo' name='movie'/><embed height='350' width='425' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' src='http://youtube.com/v/QBifdx64Plo'/></object></p><p>T-girl Lucia races off in a desperate dash across London to feed a starving cat. Will she get there in time or will the cat have shrunk down to the size of a mote of angry dust? Me-owwwwwwww...</p></div>luciaferrihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10997539392128232720noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4939269410056731933.post-90037913015115485392009-02-16T06:46:00.001-08:002009-02-16T06:46:44.181-08:00Brain Dead<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><p><object height='350' width='425'><param value='http://youtube.com/v/969ppn3iZA0' name='movie'/><embed height='350' width='425' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' src='http://youtube.com/v/969ppn3iZA0'/></object></p><p>T-girl Lucia Ferri investigates the age old question: 'Does being a T-girl mean you have to be automatically brain dead?' Will fellas allow us T-girls to be smart as well as sassy or will they run a mile if they suspect we have a functional brain? Hmmm.. is it better for us gurls to keep wearing that sweet dumb smile on our faces and hide our smarts under the mat?</p></div>luciaferrihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10997539392128232720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4939269410056731933.post-41502167787061817252008-10-13T11:56:00.001-07:002008-10-13T11:56:01.834-07:00let's get cosy<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><p><object height='350' width='425'><param value='http://youtube.com/v/Iz9vTpZ6AaA' name='movie'/><embed height='350' width='425' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' src='http://youtube.com/v/Iz9vTpZ6AaA'/></object></p><p>Tgirl Lucia Ferri has been watching in horror as great banking houses fall and the world economy tumbles into turmoil. Her solution - pull the covers up over your head, cosy on down and wait sweetly for the end to come...</p></div>luciaferrihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10997539392128232720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4939269410056731933.post-21309299297282150352008-06-08T01:08:00.001-07:002008-06-08T01:08:47.097-07:00T-girl Thrills<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><p><object height='350' width='425'><param value='http://youtube.com/v/fJgxtvYpRos' name='movie'/><embed height='350' width='425' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' src='http://youtube.com/v/fJgxtvYpRos'/></object></p><p>Most girls discovered ages ago that it's never a good idea to go walking the streets in your silkiest skimpies. But, forever in search of a thrill and a laff, T-girl Lucia slipson just a coat and pair of heels over her sexy undies and wanders off through the mad bustling streets of London town.<br />Is she crazeee or what???!!!</p></div>luciaferrihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10997539392128232720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4939269410056731933.post-21848268933297512992008-05-23T06:08:00.001-07:002008-05-23T06:08:29.789-07:001,009 reasons to be a T-girl<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><p><object height='350' width='425'><param value='http://youtube.com/v/ZIm1IXwfxzM' name='movie'/><embed height='350' width='425' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' src='http://youtube.com/v/ZIm1IXwfxzM'/></object></p><p>These days you can't lift up a rock without finding a T-girl underneath, dressed in her scanties. Why the sudden irresistible rise of the T-girl? Lucia lifts the creaky lid on her hope chest to help explain...</p></div>luciaferrihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10997539392128232720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4939269410056731933.post-42521553516397938632008-05-14T03:03:00.001-07:002008-05-14T03:03:08.793-07:00Scaredy Cat<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><p><object height='350' width='425'><param value='http://youtube.com/v/6tVmOCeIvMY' name='movie'/><embed height='350' width='425' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' src='http://youtube.com/v/6tVmOCeIvMY'/></object></p><p>Is it true that Tgirls make the best rebels?<br /><br />All through her time at Tgirl School, Lucia's instructresses told her that she had the courage, the looks and the sheer banality to make it as a Tgirl in the real world. Determined to prove her educators wrong, Lucia became a total scaredy cat who wouldn't dare say 'me-ow' to a goose... eeeeek!</p></div>luciaferrihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10997539392128232720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4939269410056731933.post-52130017769087387872008-05-10T22:33:00.001-07:002008-05-10T22:33:42.319-07:00Tgirl in a Twist<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><p><object height='350' width='425'><param value='http://youtube.com/v/SdK2xDMfwmk' name='movie'/><embed height='350' width='425' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' src='http://youtube.com/v/SdK2xDMfwmk'/></object></p><p>Lucia Ferri can never decide what to wear. Consequently, she spends most of her time in her underwear. Have YOU ever tried dating dressed only in your bra 'n' nikks??!!! Eeeeeeeeeeeeek!</p></div>luciaferrihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10997539392128232720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4939269410056731933.post-73069410202801586622008-04-28T19:35:00.001-07:002008-04-28T19:35:02.612-07:00Sexy Sunday<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><p><object height='350' width='425'><param value='http://youtube.com/v/j00cb0wjqf4' name='movie'/><embed height='350' width='425' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' src='http://youtube.com/v/j00cb0wjqf4'/></object></p><p>London Tgirl Lucia Ferri discovers a magical ancient dress at the back of a mysterious antique shop. The strange shopkeeper warns her not to try the dress on but Lucia can't help herself. No sooner has she slipped it on than the world stops dead and she's the only living thing left in motion. Good, now she can go slap that cow who was rude to her in La Senza the other day!!!</p></div>luciaferrihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10997539392128232720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4939269410056731933.post-90313238097874345312008-04-22T18:43:00.001-07:002008-04-22T18:43:46.774-07:00Men in Control<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><p><object height='350' width='425'><param value='http://youtube.com/v/EDs6ZvAO1As' name='movie'/><embed height='350' width='425' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' src='http://youtube.com/v/EDs6ZvAO1As'/></object></p><p>Tgirl Lucia reveals why she's a little crazy. On one hand she can't stand being bossed around. But on the other, she's totally attracted to bossy, dominant fellas. Should she tell the Dom Guys to take a walk or should she stop he yakking, accept their mastery over her and obey???</p></div>luciaferrihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10997539392128232720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4939269410056731933.post-80834619845318779272008-03-05T09:41:00.001-08:002008-03-05T09:41:32.537-08:00Lovin' Vibrations<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><p><object height='350' width='425'><param value='http://youtube.com/v/fHCjNlAbDno' name='movie'/><embed height='350' width='425' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' src='http://youtube.com/v/fHCjNlAbDno'/></object></p><p>Imagine a completely remote controlled Tgirl. You press a button and she squeals and howls out loud and jumps just as high as you want. She pleads and begs you to stop but you can't help yourself... you're having much too much fun.... eeeeeeeek!</p></div>luciaferrihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10997539392128232720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4939269410056731933.post-44268942571260816542008-02-29T12:20:00.001-08:002008-02-29T12:20:07.624-08:00Lady 4 a Nite<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><p><object height='350' width='425'><param value='http://youtube.com/v/ysAEi4rHb5Y' name='movie'/><embed height='350' width='425' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' src='http://youtube.com/v/ysAEi4rHb5Y'/></object></p><p>It's Tgirl Lucia's bedtime and she can't wait to curl up with a nice man-thing. But what should a girl wear so she can be cosy and yet still keep her fella satisfied and panting for more?</p></div>luciaferrihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10997539392128232720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4939269410056731933.post-7468878247184722102008-02-19T08:35:00.001-08:002008-02-19T08:35:38.643-08:00Kitchin Bitchin'<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><p><object height='350' width='425'><param value='http://youtube.com/v/YFmj6-g2QBQ' name='movie'/><embed height='350' width='425' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' src='http://youtube.com/v/YFmj6-g2QBQ'/></object></p><p>Tgirl Lucia simply loves cooking up a feast for her fellas.. but the minute she takes her eye off the stove and starts yipping and yapping.. oh my... everything starts to go wrong wrong... eeeeeeeeeek!</p></div>luciaferrihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10997539392128232720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4939269410056731933.post-84733285340494807432008-02-01T01:39:00.001-08:002008-02-01T01:39:50.151-08:00Chasing after Alfie<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><p><object height='350' width='425'><param value='http://youtube.com/v/sqeP-X5HI3M' name='movie'/><embed height='350' width='425' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' src='http://youtube.com/v/sqeP-X5HI3M'/></object></p><p>Tgirl Lucia agrees to look after her boyfriend's flat for a few weeks but gets a shock when she discovers that she's not alone. What on eath is that bag of bones, fur and whiskers sat staring up at her from the comfy cushion... </p></div>luciaferrihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10997539392128232720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4939269410056731933.post-49295234461267742302008-01-15T15:48:00.001-08:002008-01-15T15:48:39.505-08:00tranny tights<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><p><object height='350' width='425'><param value='http://youtube.com/v/3S83qJwXw0g' name='movie'/><embed height='350' width='425' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' src='http://youtube.com/v/3S83qJwXw0g'/></object></p><p>Tgirl Lucia explains the meaning of 'Tranny Tights' and carefully speculates that a number undercover gurls must find them a life saver. However, you won't find any hairs on Lucia.. she had them boiled down and made into flavourings for cheese and onion crisps... eeeeeek!</p></div>luciaferrihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10997539392128232720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4939269410056731933.post-12201391842888015932008-01-01T17:21:00.001-08:002008-01-01T17:21:32.647-08:00No Go Sales!!!<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><p><object height='350' width='425'><param value='http://youtube.com/v/b5BmwJlmhA0' name='movie'/><embed height='350' width='425' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' src='http://youtube.com/v/b5BmwJlmhA0'/></object></p><p>Tgirl Lucia has finally flipped. She must be the only girl in ye olde London Town not rushing out to the sales and melting her credit cards in a shopping frenzy. Actually, if you want her to crack just mention 'La Senza'. Some things a Tgirl can't resist!!! </p></div>luciaferrihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10997539392128232720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4939269410056731933.post-85055864253047217392007-12-27T07:55:00.001-08:002007-12-27T07:55:00.979-08:00Dress Disasters<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><p><object height='350' width='425'><param value='http://youtube.com/v/zDgE5uy5nRE' name='movie'/><embed height='350' width='425' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' src='http://youtube.com/v/zDgE5uy5nRE'/></object></p><p>London Tgirl Lucia explains everything you need to know about dress disasters... well, everything that is except the most useful piece of information. How to avoid them..... eeeeeeeeeeeeeeek</p></div>luciaferrihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10997539392128232720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4939269410056731933.post-3614068537881251082007-12-20T12:22:00.001-08:002007-12-20T12:22:56.686-08:00Tgirl Lucia's Toxic Dance<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><p><object height='350' width='425'><param value='http://youtube.com/v/0ZNvP-E3g_A' name='movie'/><embed height='350' width='425' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' src='http://youtube.com/v/0ZNvP-E3g_A'/></object></p><p>London Tgirl Lucia Ferri is struck by a Tgirl-shaped thunderbolt. 'Gosh!', she exclaims. 'It's time to stop yakking and start movin' the bod. I wonder if any fellas out there will enjoy it... even a teensy weensy bit???' Eeeeeeeeeeeek!</p></div>luciaferrihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10997539392128232720noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4939269410056731933.post-63965394582042693132007-12-12T23:33:00.001-08:002007-12-12T23:33:21.995-08:00Lucia's Boudoir<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><p><object height='350' width='425'><param value='http://youtube.com/v/4vFFc93siLk' name='movie'/><embed height='350' width='425' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' src='http://youtube.com/v/4vFFc93siLk'/></object></p><p>Man-things the world over can never agree on anything but they do all share a simple dream.. to be allowed to spend a night in Tgirl Lucia Ferri's boudoir. Lucia, whose heart is full of love and golden, decides to throw open the doors to her boudoir so everyone can see what all the fuss is about... eeeeeeeek! </p></div>luciaferrihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10997539392128232720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4939269410056731933.post-75900339227961727482007-12-07T13:26:00.001-08:002007-12-07T13:26:52.881-08:00Tgirl Citygirl<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><p><object height='350' width='425'><param value='http://youtube.com/v/s0UHAy7_qZM' name='movie'/><embed height='350' width='425' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' src='http://youtube.com/v/s0UHAy7_qZM'/></object></p><p>Legend has it that the square mile of the City of London is famous for its adorable Tgirls. Ordered by her secretive boss to check it out, Tspy Lucia Ferri slips into a sombre but sexy black pants 'n' jacket outfit so she can blend with the suits and sample the high-flying city lifestyle...</p></div>luciaferrihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10997539392128232720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4939269410056731933.post-57825947475295015672007-11-30T15:47:00.001-08:002007-11-30T15:47:11.049-08:00Undercover Tgirl<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><p><object height='350' width='425'><param value='http://youtube.com/v/59WBqrua1h4' name='movie'/><embed height='350' width='425' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' src='http://youtube.com/v/59WBqrua1h4'/></object></p><p>London Tgirl Lucia Ferri goes deep undercover to rip the lid off a secret plan to replace all the world's horrid politicians, polluters and wicked generals with android Tgirls in brilliant disguises... sinister stuff!!!</p></div>luciaferrihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10997539392128232720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4939269410056731933.post-4622765577888247072007-11-23T05:32:00.001-08:002007-11-23T05:32:56.551-08:00Tgirl Lucia's Booti Ya Ya<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><p><object height='350' width='425'><param value='http://youtube.com/v/W0UG9wEjSlI' name='movie'/><embed height='350' width='425' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' src='http://youtube.com/v/W0UG9wEjSlI'/></object></p><p>London Tgirl Lucia Ferri can't figure out why fellas are so attracted to a gurl in hi-heeled booties. At times she wonders if the whole planet has gone kinky!!! Eeeeeeek!</p></div>luciaferrihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10997539392128232720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4939269410056731933.post-89347080627131608392007-11-20T13:31:00.000-08:002007-11-20T13:37:09.879-08:00Anti-Sporty Tgirls<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhq5syr4Tp6PPkyRaiGdKYL-JvVq2vAvWho_F0kFasdMrarXcjH0z0HI5ud1Nw1PGQORrg8Umn_lnY2pnu9I0HwoQKnHb-W_PdfJY3Y12Cz0z5_sCzvuZlSswDwYGOA6clSLsso0o8JAEs/s1600-h/for-men-who...jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhq5syr4Tp6PPkyRaiGdKYL-JvVq2vAvWho_F0kFasdMrarXcjH0z0HI5ud1Nw1PGQORrg8Umn_lnY2pnu9I0HwoQKnHb-W_PdfJY3Y12Cz0z5_sCzvuZlSswDwYGOA6clSLsso0o8JAEs/s400/for-men-who...jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5135039681999864290" /></a><br />Hiya sweet beings..<br /><br />Yes, I am the world's foremost anti-sports fanatic. In five years time I'll be appointed the UN's first official anti-sports Tgirl ambassador. Like a good and brimmingly angelic version of the atrocioius Geri Halliwelp I'll tour the back waters of the world (such as New York and Leytonstone) encouraging the young to sit blindfolded in their armchairs eating fat-burgers, slurping tooth-rotting coke and playing nintendo DS.<br /><br />Actually, when it comes to my encounters with sports I'm sorta similar to one of those distant comets that hang around (in a nice frock) in the shady reaches of the cosmos and then swing in on a wild whim and just miss smashing into the earth and obliterating Luton. Or has that already happened?? Eeeeeeek!<br /><br />Sporty bulletin one: What kinda profile would this be without a rant?<br /><br />Pleez pleez pleez can some obligingly wise old zen-haired man-thing, one who has seen all and mastered standing on one leg in an icy pond on a frosty morning... pleez pleeez pleez can you h'explain to little Lucia why it is that, at various junctures in my life, concerned boyfriends have sat me down in front of the telly during a deathly dull football competition and tried desperately to get me to understand something known as 'The Offside Rule' - as though the future of our species depended on it. One thing is for sure. The more a man-thing tries to explain something to us Tgirls, the less we understand. It all gets so heated! And for what!? A little bit of sporty balderdash!<br /><br />Sporty bulletin two: Not all Tgirls are anti-sporty loonies like me.<br /><br />At the much-missed Trans-missions club far far and long ago, I remember one Autumn night getting sucked into a conversation with three strapping and delightful Tgirls from up North... my geography is crap but I think they were from Bradford or Bingley or somewhere equally building society-ish. At first I was paralysed by that horrible competitive Tgirl thing that we all succumb to at times.. even if we hate it!!! I mean, there was me in a bright pink frock looking terribly girly, grasping my clutch bag and shocklingly skimpy fizzy drink... and there beside me were these three earthy Tgirls, mooching brazenly about like bricklayers in frocks, legs spread widely apart and knocking back pints of beer. I was convinced they'd take an instant dislike to shamelessly shallow me. When one said 'Hi' in a gruff tough voice I hastily offered to buy them all more beer. Ok, I'm ashamed to admit I was just a touch terrified. Goes to show how stupid preconceptions can be! <br /><br />Well, the sweet thing is that they warmed to me quickly and we had a fantastic laugh. Our chat was just surreal - I'd mention how much I loved some new nail varnish for it's vibrant one coat colour and they'd retort with how Dixie Munglechops headed over the bar as he plonked his elbow in the goalkeeper's groin. Fashion and football mixed together without rhyme or reason. Just nuts!!<br /><br />Sporty bulletin three: The anti-sports lobby gathers new dust!<br />I dunno. I really haven't a clue about this sporty stuff. Agreed, it's good to keep fit and healthy but have you ever wandered past a sports bar? What have they got to do with sport? Two hundred pickled man-things standing in a crowd shouting aggressively at a wide screen TV? <br />And have you ever been making your way home and encountered a crowd of football fans. I'm sure they're nice enough people when sat on a soft pouve but the sound of all those hyper guys screaming and clapping never fails to scare the life out of me. Am I the only one?<br /><br />Sporty bulletin XB200/6: A chink in an anti-sporty Tgirl's armour.<br />Ok, I did have one mad sporty passion in the past. Go on, laugh. I used to play netball with my big sister and her pals. It's still just the most brilliant and exciting game in the world. You should try it boys instead of hurrying your silly balls around aimlessly!!<br /><br />Sporty bulletin ninety nine: Her dark past is material in the sporty courts of justice... and sadder than she let's on.<br /><br />Confession. My dad tried a number of strategies to masculize me when I was growing up. One was the sporty solution devised to exterminate Tgirl tendencies. These days I'm quite proud that I never managed to learn 'How to kick a ball properly'. Was I plain incapable or just stubborn? It takes true Tgirl determination to avoid the football onslaught when faced with a constant disapproving chorus from yer dad and yer peers of: 'You kick like a bloody girl!' <br /><br />Whenever I kicked a ball as a kid you could guarantee two things. One, it wouldn't go very far. Two, it would go in any direction apart from the one I was told to aim at.<br /><br />My dad had another secret weapon. That of dragging the reluctant me off to a football match once a year on Boxing Day. Oh, how I absolutely utterly hated it. I'm so scarred by the experience that I still vividly recall one nightmarish visit. He took me to see Charlton. I remember the eerie name and I remember the forbidding place was built on a steep hill which seemed crazy even to me. Up until then I thought football grass was supposed to be flat!!! <br />Aiiiieeeeeee! It was the coldest day in the last five hundred years, so cold that the snow almost froze in the air, taking ages to tumble down and fall on our heads. My ears and exposed flesh must have turned powder blue, then glowed purple before cracking like daffodils dipped in liquid helium. I spent the entire time thinking if the cold didn't finish me the excruciating boredom would. My dad periodically growled at me to 'watch the bloody game' but all I could stand to do was dream of being back home. Stupid football men running pointlessly up and down the crazy tilt of the football grass. As they came close the nasty stamp of their feet and their horrible harsh breathing sounded like abused horses. <br /><br />Football. I didn't get it. I still don't. I stood gazing upwards, tears streaming from my eyes. I'd never felt such abject misery. Overhead, the stand was full of holes and the blackened sky was weeping back at me.luciaferrihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10997539392128232720noreply@blogger.com0