Monday, February 26, 2007

dinner party disasters



Ever had one of those dinner party disasters? I managed one the weekend before last and, in a small way, I brought it upon myself. Here's how it came to pass.

I've been seeing a new fella and a few weeks ago we had one of those 'lively' discussions centering on that old Tgirl complaint - namely, that guys are happy to see us secretly but don't want the world at large to know that they're dating a Tgirl. Don't misunderstand me. I'm something of a realist and know that wider acceptance in the world is a long way off for us gurls and, equally, the fellas who're attracted to us. I would never, for instance, insist that a guy introduce me to his friends if he felt uncomfortable with it. That said, it's all to easy to hide in our bubbles and rather than upset the apple cart, spend our days in the shadows of existence. What the hell. Sometimes you have to say it out loud - if we don't challenge the perceptions of others, when will things change for the better?!!

Well, surprise surprise! Having digested my side of the argument, the BF only went and invited me to a dinner party with some old friends of his. These friends consisted of one lovely couple and another not so lovely couple. The guy was ok, but hen-pecked and meek but his girlfriend turned out to be the t-phobic bitch from Hades!!!

After an attack of pre-dinner nerves, I finally chose the outfit you see above - with a small change. White bra instead of that cheeky bright red one. BF approved. It's so hard when you're dressing to make a good impression on people you don't know. Very strange thoughts enter your head.

'Shall I wear jeans? No, they'll think I'm trying to be mannish. Shall I wear a skirt? Long or short? Gosh, what if they think I'm trying to be a tart?'

All of it rubbish! As ever, just be yourself. Clear your Tgirl mind and follow your instincts. Then you at least you can be certain that any problems eminate from someone's predjudices rather than from your making a faux pas.

Difficulties surfaced soon after we arrived at HB's (Hades Bitch) flat - where we were having dinner. Perhaps a neutral ground would have improved matters but BF later prised it out of her hubby that Hades Bitch had let it be known that she wouldn't 'suffer the humiliation of appearing in public with.. (eeeeeeeeeek!)... a cross dressing pervert!' Ouch!

Her first slight was to openly avoid a greeting kiss followed by some cold formality to me and exaggerated warmth to everyone else. I ignored it and kept a brave face. Hardly the first time I've been cut dead by somebody. Even when I managed to break the ice and get everyone laughing, I glanced over to see HB scowling at me.

As we sat down to dinner HB started to roll out her heavy artillery. Although I was too polite to say it, I knew she'd been rehearsing her insults beforehand. That lack of spontaneity was what started to annoy me - not her pathetic t-phobia. She did the 'I expect you'll be wanting a big plate' insult along with the 'I imagine you'll be gasping for a beer' thing. Yawn!! After drinking too much wine, nastier gems began to spring from her mouth. 'Don't you feel naked wearing a skirt?' 'It must be so frustrating for you not being a real woman' and my favourite - 'You must get through an awful lot of make up. What a shame!'

Poor BF was mortified. So was I - her bloody cooking was awful. Potatoes overboiled and chicken underdone. Perhaps HB should publish a 'How to poison Tgirl cookbook'. We scampered out of there, pride intact. Somehow I'd managed to keep a lid on my mouth. Lucky for her, she was an idiot with appaling dress sense and an unhappy mouth that slanted awkwardly down to one side. If she'd actually had a milligram of wit I'd have been tempted to let her have both of my considerably life-hardened Tgirl barrels. BAMN BAM!!!

As we drove away, BF said apologetically, 'I've never seen her like that, I swear'. I replied, 'Now we have something we can share' and we both burst out laughing which was GREAT! In that special moment I thought, 'New BF - you're a good man' and felt the glow of true affection light up within. I love it when you start to feel 'Hey, up to now our relationship has been a preamble but, guess what, I really really like you'.

So, thanks again Hades Bitch, for helping me in my relationship. I'm sooooooooooooo indebted to you.... ha ha ha!